10 Signs She’s A Hoe By: @ISwearIAintHit
PAPPY BACK!! Okay fellas we all know we want to marry a woman who isnt what we call…. A Hoe or Heaux if you’re like.. french or suhm. In order not to marry a heaux we need to know what to look for. So as a Hoeologist I’m here to give you the top 10 signs to look for. LET PAPPY COOK!!!
10. Mainly Guys As Friends
These women say things like “Girls Just Dont Like Me”, “I Get Along Much Better w/ Guys”, “Girls Are Just Jealous of Me” or “I Think Like A Man”. Sorry bruh she may be cool and all but.. SHES A HOE! In order to fit in w/ men you have to think like and understand men correct? If its one thing i know as a man is.. WE ALL SOME HOES! So if she thinks like us and acts like us.. #SHESAHEAUXBREAUX.
The saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together” – Malcom X. If she hangs with hoes she is a hoe by association. If a guy hangs w/ nothing but homosexual guys you’re going to assume hes flame on too right #NoFantasticFourDoe? EXACTLY! So I’m not trying to hear NAHTING!
If her main photo is a club pic shes a skank. I dont know any upstanding women of society who be in the clubs. When men hit the club we’re thinking “Hmm lets find me some un-self respecting females to let loose the jesus juice on”. Stay away from these bruh.
7. Zodiac Expert
If she can tell you how every man from every sign acts shes a hoe. Nobody told her to date a man from every sign bruh NOBODY. She a zodiac freak forreal cuh.
Listen.. I dont care who you are. Name one chick with this tongue piercing who hasn’t touched an abundance of dicks. I’ll wait.. No forreal.. I’m waiting.
5. Hoe Defense
These are the women who get so angry when you start talkin about hoes. They say things like “Did you have sex w/ her? So how she a hoe?” “Why do yall always bash women?” or the infamous “Define hoe. Whats a hoe exactly?”. Truth be told its always the hoes that say this or ask these questions we just ignore it and keep pushing so we dont make it hot.
4. Fights Double Standards
We all know this type of woman. She’s always complaining about double standards and how they’re so unfair. How she’s a free spirit and shouldnt be trapped and limited in this patriarchal society. Hoe shut yo ass up. Go head and touch them dicks we aint stopping you, but double standards do exist and there’s nothing you can do about it. Heaux.
3. Hoe Deflection
This is the type of woman who is a hoe but in order to take the attention off of her she calls everyone else hoes. Listen woman we know what you are. Everyone else being skankonias doesnt mean we dont know you’re Heauxdre 3000! You aint slick ma.
We’ve all come across this. The woman who just hates the carfax. She says things like “Men gossip just like bitches” or “Thats childish I dont want my business out there”. Thats only because she has one too many skeletons in the closet. Shit it might be a whole graveyard. Yuh never know.
1A. The Exception
If you’re reading all of this and you’re like “These dont apply to me tho..TUH!”. You a hoe. Hoe’s swear they’re an exception to the rules. That’s why they’re hoes in the first place. Embrace you’re heauxness become one with it. Its okay. Kinda.
The Real #1 Doe: If She Cant Cook
Listen if you cant cook you’re the biggest hoe there is. Especially if you arent a virgin. You perfected that mouf before you perfected anything else ma? So you learned how to take dick before knowing your way around the kitchen? So you know how to wine pon di cocky and not chef up a meal? You learned how to buss it open before learning basic survival skills? You know what? I dont eem blame you. I blame your hoe ass momma for allowing this to happen. You all need to burn in hell.
Honorable Mention Hoes: Weave wearers, Nicki Minaj Fans, and if she watches any of them “wives” shows.
If you find yourself livid right now its not my fault you’re a hoe.
Stop Bitching Spit Invictus and Get Over It
If you know of any more signs leave a comment below so we can discuss it and compare notes!