10 Signs She’s A Hoe By: @ISwearIAintHit

Published On December 21, 2012 | Entertainment, Relationships

PAPPY BACK!! Okay fellas we all know we want to marry a woman who isnt what we call…. A Hoe or Heaux if you’re like.. french or suhm. In order not to marry a heaux we need to know what to look for. So as a Hoeologist I’m here to give you the top 10 signs to look for. LET PAPPY COOK!!!

10. Mainly Guys As Friends

photo (10)These women say things like “Girls Just Dont Like Me”, “I Get Along Much Better w/ Guys”, “Girls Are Just Jealous of Me” or “I Think Like A Man”. Sorry bruh she may be cool and all but.. SHES A HOE! In order to fit in w/ men you have to think like and understand men correct? If its one thing i know as a man is.. WE ALL SOME HOES! So if she thinks like us and acts like us.. #SHESAHEAUXBREAUX.

9. Hoe Friendssex_and_the_city11

The saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together” – Malcom X. If she hangs with hoes she is a hoe by association. If a guy hangs w/ nothing but homosexual guys you’re going to assume hes flame on too right #NoFantasticFourDoe? EXACTLY! So I’m not trying to hear NAHTING!

hot mess8. Club Pic As Profile Pic

If her main photo is a club pic shes a skank. I dont know any upstanding women of society who be in the clubs. When men hit the club we’re thinking “Hmm lets find me some un-self respecting females to let loose the jesus juice on”. Stay away from these bruh.

7. Zodiac Expert

If she can tell you how every man from every sign acts shes a hoe. Nobody told her to date a man from every sign bruh NOBODY. She a zodiac freak forreal cuh.

snake eyes6. Snake Eyes Tongue Ring

Listen.. I dont care who you are. Name one chick with this tongue piercing who hasn’t touched an abundance of dicks. I’ll wait.. No forreal.. I’m waiting.

5. Hoe Defense

These are the women who get so angry when you start talkin about hoes. They say things like “Did you have sex w/ her? So how she a hoe?” “Why do yall always bash women?” or the infamous “Define hoe. Whats a hoe exactly?”. Truth be told its always the hoes that say this or ask these questions we just ignore it and keep pushing so we dont make it hot.

4. Fights Double Standards

We all know this type of woman. She’s always complaining about double standards and how they’re so unfair. How she’s a free spirit and shouldnt be trapped and limited in this patriarchal society. Hoe shut yo ass up. Go head and touch them dicks we aint stopping you, but double standards do exist and there’s nothing you can do about it. Heaux.

3. Hoe Deflection

This is the type of woman who is a hoe but in order to take the attention off of her she calls everyone else hoes. Listen woman we know what you are. Everyone else being skankonias doesnt mean we dont know you’re Heauxdre 3000! You aint slick ma.

hoefax2. Hate’s The Carfax

We’ve all come across this. The woman who just hates the carfax. She says things like “Men gossip just like bitches” or “Thats childish I dont want my business out there”. Thats only because she has one too many skeletons in the closet. Shit it might be a whole graveyard. Yuh never know.

1A. The Exception

If you’re reading all of this and you’re like “These dont apply to me tho..TUH!”. You a hoe. Hoe’s swear they’re an exception to the rules. That’s why they’re hoes in the first place. Embrace you’re heauxness become one with it. Its okay. Kinda.

The Real #1 Doe: If She Cant Cook

Listen if you cant cook you’re the biggest hoe there is. Especially if you arent a virgin. You perfected that mouf before you perfected anything else ma? So you learned how to take dick before knowing your way around the kitchen? So you know how to wine pon di cocky and not chef up a meal? You learned how to buss it open before learning basic survival skills? You know what? I dont eem blame you. I blame your hoe ass momma for allowing this to happen. You all need to burn in hell.

Honorable Mention Hoes: Weave wearers, Nicki Minaj Fans, and if she watches any of them “wives” shows.

If you find yourself livid right now its not my fault you’re a hoe.

Stop Bitching Spit Invictus and Get Over It

– Pappy

If you know of any more signs leave a comment below so we can discuss it and compare notes!

24 Responses to 10 Signs She’s A Hoe By: @ISwearIAintHit

  1. Streetz says:

    MYSOGINIST! lmaoo

  2. Pingback: 10 Signs She’s A Hoe By: @ISwearIAintHit « OlugbengaOdeyemi

  3. Jayy says:

    If I read this right, the entire female race are hoes, excluding virgins.

  4. Massiel Armengot says:

    “10 signs she’s a hoe” was hilarious !!! Love this blog (,-__-,)

  5. Qwerty says:

    How she act around guys. If she flirts with too many dudes. The way she walks. How she acts period. If she say it’s all about the money. If she say a nigga don’t have money he can keep it moving. If she say nigga I need some money for this pussy, or something in that field. If she is fucking other niggas when is in a relationship, she doesn’t even have to be in a relationship but if she fucked the whole time. It’s just some many things that I could mention.

  6. easy E says:

    Check mate

  7. Glenda Carr says:

    LoL! I loved it! You’re speaking the real, but also lets not forget about the ” Internet Twerkers” ( Hoes On Fiyah! ) lol

  8. Free says:

    Welp, feminism died right here on this blog post…

  9. DONALD says:

    No argument here!

  10. Jules says:

    This is hilarious! Bahaha but I think you forgot the fact that hoes dress cheap?


  11. AlexaThomas says:

    From what I have read from this list…. NIGQAH, WE ALL HOES.

  12. j2 says:

    then every woman on mother earth is a hoe!! lol…hilarious…

  13. HomieTrill says:

    Thanks had this really helped. I met fine girl I fell fo wanted to see if she met hoe criteria. She did heart dropped.

  14. Anonymous says:

    As a hoe, I will be the first to say that these are SPOT ON! Omg the free spirit thing?? I say that several times a week. I can’t cook. Zodiac expert. I fight double standards, hoe defense… everything on this list except hoes as friends, tongue ring, and club profile pic (only because I haven’t been lately) but bruh… everything else is 100!

  15. April says:

    Funny but stupid.

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